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Little legs crossed in my lap. I’m trapped for a

Little legs crossed in my lap. I’m trapped for another nap. You’re 7 months. I don’t know how many naps you’ve taken at this point but, it’s a lot. And you have been held for almost every single one.

Am I spoiling you?

I would be lying if I said I love every minute of being stuck with you in the rocker I found on Wayfair in a pinch because I put off ordering one for so long. Fourth kid probs, right? You don’t even have a real room. We converted a closet. But that’s a worry for another day.

For now, I’m stuck here with you. In the dim room. My room, that I share with your dad and, now, you too.

We are nestled in a corner. The sound machine fills the air with white noise. I keep the door open because I’m 40 and my eyes aren’t that great in dim light so I need the sun to filter in. Because, as you know since you spend all these moments with me, the idea of me simply sitting here in this rocker with you and doing nothing is scarier than a dark alley at night and my phone being dead.

I always have something in my hands.

Is it the sense of constantly having to be productive that has been ingrained in me since who knows how long that stops me from being still? I don’t know and we won’t be triggering an existential crisis to find out.

All I know is I don’t want to feel stuck.

So I do something. While you snooze away, your little head bobbing in your sleep as my arms move because chances are I’m knitting. Or typing.

I wonder if I should try a little harder to get you to nap in the crib. Back when you were new, you probably wouldn’t have protested as much. But I had my reasons for keeping you close to me.

And let’s be real.. that’s why I let myself be stuck.

I could change this at any time. I could make the decision that we’re finished with the naps in the sorta comfortable rocker from Wayfair.

But truthfully your crib is much better at corralling the laundry and my knitting projects at the moment.

Let’s stay stuck for a bit longer, your little legs crossed in my lap, your sweet face close to my chest, hearing my heart as I listen to your breath.

Being stuck is what I need right now. And I think you need it too.

🎵 Uh oh here comes you know who, yabba dabba fr

🎵 Uh oh here comes you know who, yabba dabba fruitylicuous too! Ho ho ho I’m hu hu hungry! 🎵

Can’t remember to pay all my bills on time but I’ll never forget this bop.

I’ve pretty much learned that most of the time p

I’ve pretty much learned that most of the time putting myself in a timeout will help me regulate .. plus it’s a great excuse for a little treat 🙃

🥲 things to remember, for example, when feeding

🥲 things to remember, for example, when feeding the baby in the middle of the night and it seems you’re the only one awake in the world.

Every Single Time

Every Single Time

There’s a tendency to tell moms you should sacri

There’s a tendency to tell moms you should sacrifice yourself for your family, setting aside everything that makes you YOU in order to raise your kids “right”. But what if the way we raise them “right” is by sharing all the parts of ourselves that make us unique *with* our kids?

Starting over at 40 and having hopes, goals and dr

Starting over at 40 and having hopes, goals and dreams outside of the home are not mutually exclusive .. BUT they do mean you have to figure out how to get help.

Doing it all by yourself is not sustainable and will lead to bitterness, resentment, anger - toward yourself, your family, and so on.

Babies DO mean you have to readjust the expectation of how much you can get done in a day. But they don’t mean the things you secretly (or maybe not so secretly) hope to do… or were in the middle of doing before the baby came… are less important or don’t deserve attention.

I’m here to remind you (and myself) of this.

You’re not alone. One day at a time is all it takes to make progress.

Comment if this resonates. ❤️

She doesn’t think of that as a Halloween costume

She doesn’t think of that as a Halloween costume. She thinks of it as her princess uniform and I absolutely love that ❤️

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